He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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