Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
