I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How does it feel to date your dad?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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