I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
