she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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