just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize