There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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