i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
