Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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