elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
