Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just want to make out with him forever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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