There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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