No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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