can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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