you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
