We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
