You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize