whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize