so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Randomize
