i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
