please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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