I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
