They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
