We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Come see our sink grown plant.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
how does that bad decision feel?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
