dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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