I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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