My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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