Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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