Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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