I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
