Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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