I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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