He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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