If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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