Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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