Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
