you win again, gameday.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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