It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
