I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
