i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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