your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
