I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just cropdusted the office
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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