Me too!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize