I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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