Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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