I wanna bring you to show and tell
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I love you.
Bad choice
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
