We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
