Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
