I'm really into asian looking animals
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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