I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
