I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
