Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize