hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
