I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
