don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
