1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
