Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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