Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
