Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
