Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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