They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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