We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We were destined to go to rehab together
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
