Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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