I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
