I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
