the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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