I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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