Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
