My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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