I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
